Self Sabotage: You Can Lead Yourself Through a Crisis
I know we are in some crazy times right now. So, crazy times require you to to do things a little bit different. And I'm sure that you have experienced some big differences in your life right now. I know that having my kids at home and homeschooling, is a new challenge. I remembered very distinctly why I DIDN’T become a high school teacher!
This is an unprecedented situation for most of you. And you may have already realized that self-sabotage is certainly lurking when we're under a lot of stress. When you are faced with new situations and are feeling out of control, anxiety, depression and confusion are normal thoughts! And you need to know that you can actually shift your thoughts and emotions.
Beliefs, Thoughts, Emotions
Thoughts follow beliefs. Emotions always follow thoughts. Start leading yourself by understanding your beliefs. When you understand what's behind the thoughts, the emotions are easier to handle.
Hang with me as I tell you something about myself…You already may know that I’m a christian. AND I’m not here to convert you or judge your beliefs EVER! However, I would be happy to talk them through with you anytime. So, onward...
The past few weeks have been quite a whirlwind. I have needed to slow down and really seek a new perspective. My own anxiety could have easily gotten the best of me. My SPARK process was able to help me reach out for wisdom. I have a few people in my life who I turn to when I need wisdom and guidance on leadership. The first person I look to is God, then my amazing coach, Julie Landi, a few close friends and John Maxwell. John Maxwell is a prolific business author and former pastor. He is also a spiritual and leadership advisor to world leaders for the past 30+ years. As God would have it, my inbox had the perfect message from him about leading through tough times. I took that message and broke it down into six components. I'm sharing those with you over the next few blogs.
Six Tools to End Self Sabotage
I'm giving you some new tools to smack that self sabotaging behavior right in the pants! You may have more or less time on your hands depending on what is going on in your business and family life right now. None of these things is that time consuming. These tools can serve as guideposts as you move forward over the next coming days, weeks, months or even years.
If you’ve run out of distractions, watched everything on Netflix, played every board game in the house, slow down and know that these six truths can help you reorder your life. The “S” of my SPARK program stands for SLOW DOWN! The "R" stands for reassess, reorder and reorganize. So, Breathe!
I have created an overview video with more details than this blog, as well as one that dives into each of these points separately. Check out the video on YouTube. Also, all of my SPARK programs, group or individual will take you through this material in depth. Here is another blog from NLP that will offer some insight as well.
Trust God, your higher power, the universe, Alah, or what/whoever you believe in. Trust that she/he has your back and loves you. My God is a loving God, even when it may not appear this way. For me, having this depth of faith is so important to lean into when things are looking so uncertain. I know there is something bigger than me looking over the circumstances. Video link
My hope comes from leaning into my faith. Hope is an active sense that together everything is going to be alright. Also, my hope comes from an optimistic view of the world and a belief that everyone, yes everyone, is doing their best! You know that guy who flipped you off for no reason the other day, or cut you off in traffic or took the last roll of toilet paper - even that guy - is doing his very best every day!
I don’t have any way of knowing what is going on in another person’s life. Do you? Giving people the benefit of the doubt actually helps regain hope. Gratitude is also a big key to hope.These circumstances are temporary. Even if this pandemic lasts years, it’s not going to be forever. We, as a nation, and you as a human, will recover. Hope = Helping Optimistic People Engage. Video link
Look at the Big Picture
Look at a big picture. When you can no longer find that hope, back up. Back up and look at the your community, your city, your state, the US, other countries, the world, the universe. Then, you can see there is more here to be concerned about than just our little lives. There is a big world that needs what you have to offer. You are able to take control of your life right now and start making it look better for. You, your family and finally your community and the world! Think about your commute time. How could you better use that time now? How about if you use it for meal planning and exercise? Or, what if you used that for time to hang with your spouse or children. Big picture! Video Link
Check Your Current Reality
Dig into the details. Now that you have backed up and started to look at things from a bigger viewpoint, you can focus in on what you can change, right now, in your own world. Just find ONE thing! Just take control of that one thing and then you can add other things. In Optavia, we call those micro habits of health. When you can successfully change just one thing in your life, you will have more confidence to change other things. Video Link
Attitude. How is that thing?? Yes, you have ultimate control of your attitude, even when you don’t want to have control over it. When your ego is freaked out, your natural tendency is flight, fright or freeze. It's your survival instinct.
In other words, first, you may run away, you flee the situation. You dive into food, alcohol, work and many other addictions and distractions. Secondly, you may be fearful and lash out. You may get angry or scared. Finally, you may freeze. You become paralyzed with fear.
Any of these emotions from your ego will keep your attitude stuck in the negative. I will give you some things you can do to shift that attitude. Beliefs drive thoughts and thoughts drive emotions. Move your body, a 3 minute dance party will shift all of that. You can also pray or meditate.And gratitude is the greatest gift in the moment. Video Link
Take Action! You need a plan to move forward. What is the ONE step you can take today? Are you lonely? Do you need to take control of your health? Your food? Your friends? I know that sad, depressed and anxious are normal human emotions. I also know, you can choose to move and do something different than your normal response. Oreo’s don’t shift the emotion for very long. Emotions are energy in motion. You can feel that emotion in your body. If you breathe for about ninety seconds, that emotion will pass. Then, you can choose your response from a calmer place. Take action in some place in your life. Video Link
You can literally reorder your life with these tools if you will slow down. The “R” in SPARK stands for reassess, reorder and reorganize. With everything going on right now, you are in a season of change. Lean into your friends and family. If you are having trouble getting or keeping these things in perspective, and you’re engaging in self sabotaging behavior, I would be happy to give you a free consultation. I would love to help you understand how a life coach can help you through this season. You will come out a new, stronger version of yourself!